Thursday, February 14, 2013

CD Odyssey Disc 486: The Carpenters

Happy Valentine’s Day!  I think this might be one of the only Valentine’s Days in fifteen years that Sheila and I didn’t go out for dinner.  We just didn’t want to cram ourselves into a restaurant that only allows you two hours before they kick you out for the next couple’s magic moment.


Besides, every day with Sheila is a magic moment - and I’m just lucky to be in her company.  So instead we’re going to enjoy each other’s company at home; having dinner and sharing a bottle of wine, because we’re feelin’ relaxed, free and easy – kind of like this next album.

But I did bring home flowers and chocolate.  I’m not a complete idiot.

Disc 486 is… The Singles 1969-1973
Artist: The Carpenters

Year of Release: 1973, with songs from 1969-1973

What’s up with the Cover?  Not much.  The classic Carpenters logo has aged nicely, though, and I don’t think a modern graphic designer could do much to improve on it.

If it looks a bit weathered, it is because this photo is of Sheila’s vinyl copy, which she’s owned since she was a kid.  Although only a single LP, it was one of those collectable ones with a special booklet about the Carpenters and a double-wide case that opens up to give us this this awesome photo of the Carpenters:


Wow.  And to think that is all that the double-wide record case provides – this giant photo of Karen and Richard Carpenter.  Richard could probably walk down the streets today in those clothes, but time has not been so kind to Karen’s fashion decisions.

How I Came To Know It:  Like most people my age, I remember the Carpenters from being a kid and listening to AM radio in the car.  However, the reason that they are in my house as an adult is entirely Sheila’s doing – the record was a big deal for her in her childhood, to the point she subsequently bought it on CD as well.  I say if you’ve got a sentimental favourite, why not celebrate it.

How It Stacks Up:  This is a “best of” so even if it weren’t our only Carpenters album (which it is) it couldn’t stack up anyway.

Rating:  Best of albums don’t get rated.  Such is the established way of the Odyssey.

Those who read this blog to any degree likely recognize that while I have pretty wide musical tastes, bubble-gum AM radio pop isn’t typically one of them.  But despite my sincerest wishes to say bad things about the Carpenters, the truth is that this is some damn catchy AM radio pop music.  Anyone who says otherwise just hasn’t listened to it.

That isn’t to say I loved the experience, but it did have its appeal.  That appeal begins with Karen Carpenter’s voice.  I’m told that she’s a contralto, which in music-speak means she sings very low.  She also sings flawlessly, with a sweet, full tone that is about as pure as you’ll hear in music, yesterday or today.  It is a damned shame that anorexia stole her away so soon; it would have been interesting to listen to that voice age and change.  I expect it would have never lost its grace.

The melodies are pure Soulless Record Executive action, with a toe-tapping quality that would make them #1 hits if they were released today.  I don’t really care for #1 hits when I can avoid it, but damn – some of these are catchy, and the simple early seventies production is a perfect fit.

A classic example is “Top of the World” which I was sad to discover was not a version of the Patty Griffin song.  Griffin’s song is a mournful tune of regret with an ironic title.  No irony, here.  Singing along to a country style twang (turned into pop by an accompanying organ), Karen gustily belts out:

“Such a feelin’s comin’ over me
There is a wonder in most everything I see
Not a cloud in the sky
Got the sun in my eyes
And I won’t be surprised if it’s a dream.”

And no, it isn’t sung in some mournful minor key, and no the sun in Karen’s eyes doesn’t drive her to murder a la Camus’ “The Stranger.”  When Karen Carpenter sings about being on top of the world, that’s all there is to it.  Strangely, this damned simple notion works its magic on you, and by the time she’s singing the chorus it takes all you can do not to sing along that you are also so far on top of the world that you’re “lookin’ down on creation.” (It is worth noting here that the vibe is so relaxed, droppin’ the ‘g’ is a given in all the lyrics).  So yeah, it made me feel good – sue me.

The best song on the album is “Superstar,” a song about that features obsession with a rock star and even (gasp) a minor key or two.  Don’t worry though; the lighthearted dread it is only a temporary condition, quickly cured by a jumpy horn section.

When the Carpenters fail it is usually because they try to stay sad for too long.  “Rainy Days and Mondays” survives this fate simply by virtue of its perfect melodies, and its added wistful quality, but it is the exception that proves the rule.  Other efforts like “Goodbye To Love” or “Hurting Each Other” are just sickly sweet, with overwrought, ridiculous lyrics (“Closer dear are we/Than the simple letters ‘A’ and B’” – Yeesh).  If you want your upbeat seventies pop with a more serious dash of disappointment, I’d recommend Fleetwood Mac instead.

Notably present is a cover of the Beatles song “Ticket to Ride” that I preferred to the original, but not enough to actually enjoy it.  Notably absent was my favourite Carpenters’ song as a youth, “Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft” (I was obsessed with UFOs as a kid, having recently read “Project Blue Book” cover to cover).  “Calling Occupants…” wasn’t released until four years after this greatest hits package.  Bummer.

I think it is both interesting and sad that I just reviewed a Tool album filled with angry lyrics, sung by a very disturbed man, Rev. Maynard James Keenan, who is now happily making critically-acclaimed wine in Arizona, but the open-hearted joy of Karen Carpenter masked a serious illness and early death.  For all the joy she brought the world, she deserved better.

I didn’t love this record, but I also didn’t hate it like I thought I would.  Thematically it isn’t as significant as World Contact Day when millions (thousands?) of people all tried to send our thoughts into space (remember “Calling Occupants…” isn’t on here).  Then again, maybe bringing some happiness into the lives of commuters on their way to work is reason enough sometimes.  It certainly worked for the bell-bottom set in the seventies and dare I say – it even gave me a few unexpected smiles on my walk to work this week.

Best tracks:  Top of the World, Superstar, Rainy Days and Mondays.

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