Thursday, February 4, 2016

CD Odyssey Disc 827: Heart

I wanted to get this review written yesterday but a late night at work followed by a social engagement denied me. This meant that I was stuck listening to it for a second straight day. Fate can be cruel.

Disc 827 is….Bad Animals
Artist: Heart

Year of Release: 1987

What’s up with the Cover? A series of drawings stylized to look like cave art, if cave art was drawn by dudes in pastel suit jackets with big shoulder pads.

How I Came To Know It: I knew this album as a kid, but I never bothered to buy it until our friend Gord was parting with his CD collection, and I picked it up on the cheap along with a bunch of other albums. Not my finest purchase of the day. Sorry, Gord.

How It Stacks Up:  I have three Heart albums, and this is easily the worst. I think that if I had six or seven heart albums, this would still be the worst.

Ratings: 2 stars

If this album were an animal it would be the dog that eats your shoe or the cat that pees on your radiator. “Bad Animals” is a bad animal indeed.

This album annoys me in so many ways, but only makes me happy in two. And it isn’t that I don’t like Heart, because I do. I have two of their other albums, and I plan to buy another at some point.

In 1987 classic rock bands were mowed down by the saccharine production of synthesizers and drum machines. Sometimes the quality of the songs kept these albums afloat, as they do on Bruce Springsteen’s “Tunnel of Love” or Rush’s “Hold Your Fire.” “Bad Animals” is an example of when that doesn’t happen.

That is not to say this album has no good songs. In fact, it has one and it is even their biggest hit. “Alone” is a great track; an anthem for all the awkward girls in love with some popular guy who doesn’t know they exist. Despite the bells and whistles of eighties production, Ann Wilson’s voice soars with power and pathos. The producers even take a break from all their tinkling and futzing about long enough to let Nancy Wilson unleash a passable guitar solo.

Sadly, even “Alone” doesn’t have the sway over me it once did, having been dismantled and abused by year after year of Idol and Voice hopefuls wishing they could do what Ann does, and failing by various degrees.

Fortunately, “Alone” isn’t totally alone for me. It has a guilty pleasure to keep it company! “You Ain’t So Tough” is not what most people would call a good song, but I love it anyway. It is the nerdy and cynical friend to “Alone’s” awkward hero. I don’t care that it has some of the worst drum machine on the album, or that the guitar solo is marred with some sort of electronic version of the triangle. I love this song, and I don’t care what anyone thinks (which is pretty much the only way you can love this song).

Other than this, “Bad Animals” is a bunch of eighties radio pop. This is not a great genre to begin with and the songwriting doesn’t save it. It is sad that a band with the hard rock roots of Heart descended into the world of vacuous pop. Their 1985 self-titled album that preceded this one was more of the same but the writing is just better than you find here.

“Bad Animals” other tracks are forgettable. Even the other hits (“Who Will You Run To” and “There’s The Girl”) don’t stand out except perhaps against the remainder of the record. “I Want You So Bad” made me want them to sing different songs so bad, but that was the extent of my desire. “Wait For An Answer” had me mentally responding with a firm “no” whenever it came on. “R.S.V.P” is the musical equivalent of a party no one attends: sad and empty, with streamers decorating the place and an untouched spinach dip on the dining room table.

Despite all this Heart can still smugly cash their royalty cheques (“Bad Animals” is their second-highest selling of 15 studio albums), so in the eyes of a lot of other people they clearly did something right. And like I said earlier, there are a couple of tracks that I still like despite all the other warts. On the other hand, I'm not one for keeping just singles., so what shall be the fate of such a record in my collection?

Alone” ends with a fervent hope that to not end the night without companionship. Not to worry, song, you’ll have plenty of company with the other tracks on this album in the deleted items folder of my computer, at least until I empty it.

And…delete.

Best tracks:  Alone, You Ain’t So Tough

2 comments:

Gord Webster said...

I think that was the only Heart album I had. You are saying I steadied (and stopped) on the worst one? Maybe I should try a better one. Recommendation?

Logan said...

If you like the eighties sound from "Bad Animals" but want better songs go with their self-titled album from 1985. If you want to hear their classic hard rock seventies sound, I am partial to 1977's "Little Queen."